Grief has no distance, death is irreversible.

Since our main topic is grief, we are talking about an ending, a loss, death most likely. Something or someone who left us, a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend, old or young, healthy or sick, how, when and why does not matter. What matters is that they are no longer here.

Religion, Culture, Beliefs, language also does not matter. Sometimes we grieve over a goal or a dream that is no longer achievable. This is the ugly truth. What do we do now?

All of the prayers, rituals, ceremonies that follow death are said to HONOR the deceased, to cherish the memories, to celebrate LIFE. Because LIFE is present, life continues. And the loved ones need to go through the grieving process and at some point, get back to their daily routines. Some people call it a need for closure. Close the chapter and open another one…Maybe.

And while doing that, let’s eat some comfort food with friends and family.

Food has a very important role in the grieving process. We serve food after the service/funeral. We gather with family, friends and loved ones.We find strength in numbers, seek support from the tribe. We are trying all sorts of ways to express our feelings. Arent the best family and friend gatherings happening around the table with lots of food to share? Food makes it easier to share, well, the food, the feelings, memories. The tears and laughter are so much easier to swallow while sharing food, don’t you think?

Around the world, in different cultures traditions may vary:

In Italy the tradition is to give Bread and wine to the grieving person or family. The Ziti or casserole tradition belongs to the U.S, who knew?

In the Jewish tradition, during the 7 day mourning period immediately following a death, known as sitting shiva, bagels, candy, nuts, cookies and cakes are brought. They are easy to share and require little preparation by the host.

My childhood memories of my Turkish family gatherings after a funeral involve a lot of sweets.

My childhood memories of my Turkish family gatherings after a funeral involve a lot of sweets. Halva after and before the burial and lokma, balls of sweet fried dough. Other foods include delicious candies and drinks like lemonade—the sweetness of the food tones down the bitterness of losing a family member. And Mevlit: Quran reading narrating the life and death of the Muslim prophet Mohammad.

We did not follow the Turkish funeral rituals with Dan. My mother still talks about the amount of empty beer cans and wine bottles we had to take out to the curb on the recycling day after his funeral and, you guessed it: a freezer full of casseroles, most of them Ziti!

What are some of the other rituals of grief? What is your family's funeral tradition? Send a note if you would like to share.